I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
