yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize