You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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