Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
