I've blown a few things in my day
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
