i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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