i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
