She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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