Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
