You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
