A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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