At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
