I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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