it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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