You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so explain again why im purple
no
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
