Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
