They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
