Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
