i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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