Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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