I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
