just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
