Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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