I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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