Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
