you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
As shirtless as possible
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
