So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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