no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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