That's when you crack a 10am beer
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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