What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
