I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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