Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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