i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
