There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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