My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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