Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
