Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
