Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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