I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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