Have you finally orgasmed yet?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
kristin has been a bad kristin
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
