How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
