90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
