i may or may not be watching the land before time
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
