it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
