ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
