I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
