So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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