I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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