my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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