but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
