Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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