end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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