exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
