i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
