fuck your aforementioned shoe
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
