i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
