piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
