It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
